Making It Work





All can be well, but if our relationship with our spouse is not where we want it to be, it truly dims the light on our happiness. It affects every area of our life, though we might be happy we reminded that all is not well in our camp. 

One thing I can testify to, if you want to make it work. You need to start here: 

  1. TALK - we have heard it before,  as soon as we hear we need to talk, we are flooded with negative images of past events, when we did try and talk and we failed.  But here is the problem, we gave up too soon. We did not push through the discomfort of these little talks. We need to...
  2. Prepare ourselves for a lot of emotion and feeling emotionally tired. The first few times emotions will flair everywhere ( cause we trying to show our partner how wrong they were). We will be defencive - but these are all good signs. It means we riding ourselves from the ugliness. 
  3. You will feel despondent - DONT GIVE UP.
  4. Talk about what you want for your marriage and your family.
  5. Talk about what you want to see in your spouse and ask him what he would like to see in you. 
  6. Pray and ask God to guide you. (why only pray now, well because, you did not feel much like praying in the beginning)
  7. Take your talks outside - take a walk - not a restaurant - this will be distraction - go to a park. 
Honestly there is no list one can give, but the foundation of making it works looks allot like this. By talking you will know as a couple what to do next, each marriage is different just as each individual and families are different, so what works for the one will not necessarily work for the other. The uniqueness of you as a couple will lead to when you ready for your first date, your weekend away..... 

If things are a bit harder and you can't come to agreement on your own, see a counsellor, I will advise a couple. Often when we have a counsellor that is the same sex of one of the spouses, we feel that we are being conspired against. So having both sexes will lead to ease, let us believe that at least she will back me, if not her then him.  This will lead to ease when you start talking. 

I pray that if your marriage is not working, that you will have the endurance to persevere and fight for the one you love. 


Zelna

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